They say that drinking brings out the real you.
Whether this is true or not is debatable, but alcohol does have a way of loosening up things that people keep under wraps. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, thus making you act more impulsively and care less about the consequences of your behavior.
After a couple of drinks, people tend to say things they have been hiding all along and act differently from their normal selves.
You know him as a friend. When sober, your relationship is friendly and purely platonic. However, after downing a few, his demeanor changes drastically. You’re no longer his friend. His sisterly outlook vanishes, only to be replaced by romance and infatuation.
It’s very clear from his behavior that he likes you. It’s natural for you to feel confused about this flip-flop behavior. You will be left scratching your head trying to figure out what his real intentions are.
When he’s sober, he is just a friend, but when he’s drunk, he has feelings for you. Which one is real? What are you expected to do?
Before you consider your response, you need to know why he likes you only when he’s drunk. In this article, you will also find tips on how to respond to this situation.
Why does he like you only when he’s drunk?
He’s prim and proper when he’s sober. He knows his boundaries and behaves perfectly like a friend. But with some alcohol in his system, he changes his colors like a chameleon. He freely admits that he likes you.
Here are a few common reasons why he is acting this way.
1. He isn’t ready to reveal his true feelings to you
He has been in love with you since the first time he met you. But for reasons best known to himself, he isn’t ready to reveal the same to you. However, when he downs a few drinks, his tongue loosens and his feelings come out without restraints.
If this is the case, you shouldn’t push him to come out and say it when he’s sober. You need to respect his decision to keep his feelings undercover for the time being. He will reveal his feelings for you when he’s ready.
2. He doesn’t like you when sober
He likes you only when he’s drunk. Strange as this may seem, this is true with many people. Alcohol seems to change his attitude towards you drastically. From just friendship, it takes on romantic undertones.
With such people, the more they drink, the more they will like you. This is demeaning to you and you’re right in feeling offended by his antics. The fact that he likes you when drunk means nothing. Just ignore him and move on.
3. He’s dating another girl but likes you as well
He may be going steady with someone else but he has always liked you. Why he’s doing this is only known to him. He likes his current girlfriend and doesn’t want to leave her. However, he often thinks about you as well.
This is a tough situation for him. He is torn between you and this other girl. When he’s drunk, he loses his inhibitions and his guard is lowered. This will bring out what is on his mind. He professes his love for you despite knowing that he’s in a stable relationship with another girl.
4. He sees you as beautiful only when drunk
You two have been good friends for a while and he treats you like a friend when sober. However, with a few drinks inside, he notices your beauty and attractiveness. He realizes that he’s infatuated with you. The human mind works in mysterious ways.
When he’s drunk and finds himself attracted to you, he doesn’t keep this to himself. He is no longer shy and reticent. His tongue is loose and he speaks his mind freely. By taking this step, he is destroying a good friendship with you.
5. He likes all girls he comes across when drunk
This is not just about you. When he’s drunk, he is in love with all the girls. He behaves this way with each one of them. You are no exception.
You don’t need to feel awkward about this or worry about hurting his feelings by ignoring him. If you take his behavior seriously and think that he’s in love with you alone, you’re in for a shock and heartbreak.
6. He’s scared to fall in love
Maybe someone broke his heart earlier or things didn’t pan out the way he expected. He promised himself that he will never put himself through such an experience ever again. He’s even afraid of falling in love. This is not about you at all.
Over the years, he learned how to hide his true feelings well. The only time he loses control over himself is when he’s drunk. The alcohol loosens his tongue and he blurts out his secretive obsession with you. If you ask him about what he said about you earlier, he may deny it completely. You may be able to help him with this if you are empathetic and understanding and make him feel comfortable.
7. You’ve rebuffed his advances earlier
In the past, he has approached you and professed his love for you. But you rejected him for your own reasons. He never stopped loving you but kept his feelings hidden because of your rejection. He is scared that you will reject him again if he approaches you.
However, when he’s drunk, he’s not afraid anymore. So, naturally, he talks openly about his love for you. It’s up to you to decide how to go forward with this situation. If you love him and want him in your life, let him know about this when he’s sober. If not, make it clear that he’s wasting his time waiting for your mind to change.
8. You are seeing someone else
He loves you but he’s very much aware that you are with someone else. He doesn’t feel comfortable about approaching you. In fact, he’s apprehensive. He is convinced that you’re not looking for romance elsewhere and you will reject him outright. He keeps his feelings for you suppressed and hidden from you.
But when he’s drunk, he sheds his inhibitions and out comes his innermost thoughts and feelings. He throws caution to the wind and lets his feelings known to you. Once he is sober, he will withdraw into his own shell.
9. He mistakes you for someone else when drunk
Alcohol can alter your perception drastically. When he’s drunk, he gets this idea in his head that you’re someone else he knows and likes a lot. In reality, he’s not in love with you but with this other person.
Drinking can affect the functioning of the mind in many ways. The line differentiating reality and fiction blurs. Sometimes reality becomes fiction and at other times, fiction becomes reality. You were just caught in between the altered perceptions.
10. He has not come to terms with his feelings for you
There is no denying that he has feelings for you. But for his own reasons, he doesn’t want to accept them. Maybe you two are good friends and he doesn’t want to spoil the friendship by revealing his love for you. He may consider this not in the right spirit. Moreover, he has no clue if you reciprocate his feelings.
Or else you were always at loggerheads in the past and he developed feelings for you recently. He finds it hard to believe that he’s falling for you like a ton of bricks. He doesn’t say anything to you thinking that your feelings for him haven’t changed.
What should you do when a drunk person says he likes you?
This guy is playing hide and seek with his feelings for you. Expecting him to be truthful about it when sober is asking for too much. It may happen but there’s no way to predict when. The best approach would be to confront him about his drunken words and actions.
This way, you can force him to respond on the subject that he has been keeping hidden and avoiding for a long time. If you too have feelings for him, this will help in bringing out his secret love for you.
On the other hand, if you’re not interested in a romantic relationship with him, but want to be friends, you should tread with caution. If you don’t want him in your life in any role, cut ties with him.
Here are a few suggestions to help you deal with the situation.
- Get to know what is on his mind when he’s sober.
- Confront him about his feelings for you.
- Tell him about his behavior when drunk.
- Play his own voice messages to you when drunk.
- Reveal your feelings for him.
- Tell him that he’s free to express his feelings for you. There is no need to be scared of you.
- Help him come to terms with his own feelings for you.
- If he’s already in a relationship, ask him to reconsider his priorities.
- Ask his friends for input.
- If you’re not interested in him, make it clear to him.
- Consider ghosting him if nothing else works.
Bottom line
Alcohol can make a person act out of character. However, at times, it brings out what he feels but tries to hide. He may act like a friend when sober but when drunk, he turns romantic. His Jekyll and Hyde personality can be too much for you to handle. The first step would be to make him aware of his Hyde side.
Initiate a conversation with him when he’s sober. Make him know how you feel about it and where he stands with you. This should work with most people but if it doesn’t, you can always ghost him.
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