How Long Should You Go Without Talking To Your Boyfriend (The Healing Phase)

In the early days of the relationship, you’ve been in seventh heaven – extremely happy that you found Mr. Right.

However, you got to know that life is fickle and can change its course at any time. One moment you are happy, content, and feeling on top of the world, the next moment, things come crashing down. Your world is in tatters.

Some relationships will take you down such rugged roads filled with potholes and debris. The question you may find asking yourself at this point is will it get better? Is there a chance of a loving relationship with your boyfriend? Or should you get out when you can without hurting yourself too much? Is it possible for you to leave the bad memories behind when you walk away from the relationship? Will your life be the same ever again?

Relationships are never easy. It always comes with its ups and downs. When things go downhill in a relationship, it’s common for couples to fight. But again, the intensity of the fight may vary vastly based on your relationship and personalities. 

When a couple is fighting, they lose their ability to think rationally. They may say or do things without thinking about the consequences or the effect they may have on their partner. When you finish fighting, you wake up to the reality of the situation. 

After fighting with your partner, it is natural to stop communication to let him know that you are hurt and angry. But the question is how long would you go without talking to your boyfriend? You need to balance your feelings of hurt and anger against the chance of reconciliation. If you stay away from him for a long time, you may end up pushing him further away and hurting your chances of getting back together again.

Is it an hour or two? Or can you go without talking to your boyfriend for an entire day? Can you stretch this to a few more days? Is it ok to stop all communication with your boyfriend or should you maintain it at a bare minimum? It depends a lot on you, your partner, and the relationship you have. 

How long can you go on without talking to your boyfriend after fighting?

Communication is considered the bedrock of any relationship. Continuing without talking to your boyfriend can never be a good move. Giving your boyfriend the silent treatment can drive a wedge between the two of you. 

It’s also true that you are hurt and angry. You may be finding it hard to forgive and forget. You need time to heal from the fight you had with your boyfriend. It all depends on what kind of skirmish you had.

Here are a few scenarios when couples get into a fight and you consider giving your boyfriend the silent treatment.

1. You fight about something silly

When you start sharing your life with someone, it takes much adjustment to get along without rubbing them the wrong way. Sometimes, even simple silly things you say or do can annoy them. This also works the other way. You may also feel irritated by something silly your boyfriend did.

Your boyfriend may not have answered your calls or texts or even returned your calls. He may make plans to go out with his gang but not inform you about it. When your plans clash with this, you may feel annoyed. 

You should be able to resolve these silly problems easily with good communication. You can blame him for not maintaining good communication with you but you too can take the initiative to maintain an open channel of communication in the relationship. 

These kinds of fights are too silly to prolong the silent treatment to last for more than a day.

2. He’s not spending enough time with you

You feel that he’s ignoring you and you ignore him back in retaliation. Most probably, you’re right in feeling aggrieved. In a relationship, it’s important to spend time with each other, especially in the initial days. 

Though spending time with each other is desirable, there may be practical difficulties for your boyfriend to stay away from you. Maybe his work pressure and other family commitments are keeping him away. If he has genuine reasons for staying away, you should consider that. It would be unfair of you to give him the silent treatment at all, let alone prolong it for a long time. 

In this instance, you should make an effort to understand his reasons for staying away from you. If it’s beyond his control, you should be more lenient. Even if he’s ignoring you, he may regret his actions and apologize to you. He deserves one more chance to improve his behavior toward you.

When you fight for this reason, you shouldn’t give him silent treatment for more than an hour or two. This is enough to get your point across without damaging the relationship.

3. He forgot to remember your special day

This is a typical reason for fighting among couples. Women tend to attach more significance to remembering special days and want to be wished by their boyfriends without fail. Unfortunately, most men don’t consider this important and forget about it. It’s natural for you to feel let down and angry. When you confront your boyfriend about this, it may escalate into a fight. 

Though this is a big deal for you, your boyfriend may not agree with you. Understandably, you want to make your point across. What better way to do this than give him the silent treatment? Your boyfriend is bound to notice your silence. However, his mistake doesn’t warrant prolonged periods of silence either. Don’t stretch it beyond a day or two. This would be enough for him to notice your anger.

4. He’s too friendly with girls

This is a tough one. You may feel that your boyfriend is crossing the line when interacting with girls. But he may stoutly deny your allegation. While you would feel angry and upset, he would also be furious that you would raise such an allegation against him.

As this is a serious issue, if it’s true, you can stretch your silent treatment to 3-4 days. This will make him realize the seriousness of the matter, even if it isn’t true. He would know how upset you’re by his behavior. He would make efforts to clear the air and avoid such misunderstandings in the future. 

In case your allegation is true, this is an opportunity for your boyfriend to change his wayward behavior. This should make him aware of how invested you are in the relationship and how his behavior, even if it’s unintentional, affects you. But don’t take it too far. As soon as he realizes this, he will try to reconnect with you. Reconcile your differences through talk if you are interested in continuing the relationship.

5. He wrongly blames you

Some men jump at the opportunity to place the blame on their partners when something goes wrong. They refuse to own up to their mistakes or even their part in the whole fiasco. They shirk their responsibility and point fingers at their partners.

As his girlfriend, you may not like to be blamed for something you never did. You may put up with his false allegations but at some point, you may start feeling enough is enough. This is when the fight starts. 

You try to tell your boyfriend that he’s not being fair and he should stop such a blame game. But he may not listen to you and continue with his usual behavior. This is when you realize that your words may not have any effect. You will start giving him the silent treatment.

As this is a serious issue for you and your boyfriend is not accepting responsibility for his wrong behavior, you can keep up with your silent treatment for 5-6 days. This would give him enough time to miss you and realize his mistake and come to you with an apology.

6. He doubts you

Trust is the foundation of a long-lasting and healthy relationship. It takes a long time for partners to trust each other completely. This is normal for new couples. But it is an altogether different matter when suspicion rears its head in a relationship. This is definitely a red flag.

When you realize that your boyfriend doesn’t trust you completely and has suspicions about you for no valid reason, you are justified in feeling let down and angry. You would feel it more if you have been truly devoted to him and the relationship. 

You may find your boyfriend interfering with everything little thing you do. He may be constantly telling you what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. He may even force you to share your passwords and check your instant messaging, social media accounts, and emails. 

You may put up this behavior for some time thinking he will ultimately learn to trust you and things will be fine. But as days and months go by, you realize that it’s not getting better but in fact, it’s getting worse. 

In this instance, you can remain silent for one week or even more until he realizes his mistake. He ought to understand that his behavior can end the relationship.

7. He cancels your date too often

Initially, you thought your boyfriend was not meeting you often because of his work or family commitments. However, when you started realizing that he has time for his friends and other things he wants to do, you felt upset and angry. You cannot be blamed for feeling this way. Spending time together is important for knowing each other better and taking the relationship forward.

When you suggest going out on a particular day, he always seems to have something else lined up. When you show your willingness to be flexible about the day, he again gives you evasive replies. On his own, he never initiates a date. 

When you try to bring up this issue with him, he seems to ignore you again and again. Then, you are left with no alternative but to give him the silent treatment. You may think that what you cannot achieve with words, you may be able to achieve with your silence.

However, be careful not to stretch this too far either. Or else, he may lose interest in you. You can keep up with this for 3-4 days or until he realizes his mistake. If he doesn’t, you can consider breaking up with him because it doesn’t make any sense to continue in such a relationship.

8. He is dishonest with you

This goes against the basic requirement for a healthy relationship – trust. When your boyfriend tries to hide things from you or tells you outright lies to live life the way he wants to, you are justified to feel angry. 

As you are in a relationship, initially, you may not want to take his behavior in the wrong way. You may even try to find excuses for his dishonest actions and words. But as days go by, you realize that this is not getting you anywhere. You cannot continue this relationship if your boyfriend continues to lie to you.

No relationship can survive on lies. You will find it hard to trust him and his words. When you try to point this out to him, it will turn into an ugly fight with your boyfriend. Your words most probably won’t have any effect on him. You may have to resort to silent treatment to get him to take notice.

Dishonesty can vary vastly in its severity and consequences. He may want to go out with his friends when you suggest a date night. Instead of telling you the truth, he may tell you about too much office work to finish. This is not a serious matter though not desirable in a relationship. 

The more serious issue is when your boyfriend is having an affair with another girl and trying to hide it from you with lies. Serious lies demand serious measures from you. You can give him the silent treatment for a week or two until he realizes his folly. You can even go for a no-contact rule until he learns his lesson. 

What you shouldn’t do after fighting with your boyfriend?

Don’t consider breaking up. With a fight, you are trying to make him understand his mistake and reconcile the differences. Talking about a breakup is not right at this point.

Don’t block him. The idea of a fight and giving him the silent treatment is to make him aware of your feelings and his mistakes. Blocking him from his social media accounts will be counterproductive to reconciliation.

Don’t make this public. Treat your relationship with your boyfriend as a personal matter. Sharing information about your fight with friends and family is not good. Don’t post this on your social media accounts either. Your boyfriend may not like it. You are damaging your chance of a reunion with your boyfriend.

Avoid fighting again after reconciliation. When things are improving, you should deal with the situation with maturity. If you get into a never-ending cycle of fights and reconciliations, you may never get to enjoy a peaceful and happy relationship.

Don’t allow your ego to get the better of you. The ego is one of the main reasons for the breakdown of relationships. If your partner is accepting his mistakes and initiating contact, learn to let go of the issue. Avoid holding on to the grudge and make a mess of your life and his.

Desist from placing all the blame on your partner. As they say, it takes two hands to clap. You too may have contributed to the issue in some way, maybe without being aware of it. Accept this and own up to your share of mistakes. 

Don’t extend the silent treatment beyond the periods mentioned. It will end up counterproductive for you. Use your silence to get his attention and manage the rest through frank conversations.

FAQs

The Bottom Line

When the feelings of love bloomed for your partner, you openly shared your emotions. Concealing neither your sentiments nor your affections, you fostered a connection through open and heartfelt communication.

Hence, can silence truly mend a prolonged rift? The answer is no. A resolution demands expression and dialogue. Underestimating the potency of communication would be a mistake. Allow it to kindle more affection and romance within your relationship, alleviating burdens and stress instead.